I’m not entirely sure what to feel right now. I received an appointment letter in the mail today for surgery, but never received the actual diagnoses from the biopsy I had in the fall. I’m hoping that means basal-cell carcinoma. Being totally honest, I’d hope for something non-cancerish but that’s not likely. But I hope it isn’t something worse! I’m a little afraid of the scaring – which is mostly vanity because I have a couple of gigs around the time of the surgery. I’m a little embarrassed that, apparently, I haven’t been wearing enough sunscreen. I’m a little scared now because, what if I’ve left it too long or what if it is something worse? And I know that if I wasn’t so darn tired from working too hard an not getting enough sleep my emotional space would be better. But I’m feeling gratitude for a socialized medical system. Tomorrow I’ll phone the surgeon for some clarity, see if I can work around the gigs okay, and start finding some positive vibes.

2 thoughts on “A Bunch of Feels

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